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It ain’t finished
but consider this part 1. A song with a sequel This chapter ends but the next one is just as important to the story. So expect this song to come back with a bangin’ part 2 Tune in Monday to YouTube A song in the making...
I know the song sounds pretty bad. I even took a break from writing it today. And I prayed! I prayed! God, I prayed for insight, for patience, for understanding, the right words... It was a mighty long prayer! What I describe in these two verses, is how I feel. Right now, Today. But I also feel, liberated! Because I am able to face "what is" because of it! Not perfect by far! I always go into letting go like a kid, you know kicking and screaming but... it means I am also moving through that feeling, and little by little I'm moving away from it. Doesn't make sense? It's not my first heartbreak. It won't be the last. It's not my first break up - it might not be my last! I was so mindful this time, and yet! It's not my first time dealing with a lot of change in my situation because of a relationship not working out,... but you know what? |
I am still here. I did let it shape me, It helped me shape myself into who I am today and I am actually proud of who I am today! Even though I am hurting, even though the world as I've known it for the past 3 years is crumbling and falling apart,... (Well, it's more a lot of hopes and dreams for the future that where linked to the past 3 years...) I am not. (and a lot of dreams and hopes remain, so this time, let's not forget about that!)
This time I know: "Things change". Even when we are looking right at it! Even when we do our very best, life can surprise us, and that can go both ways... My situation is demanding me to be patient. Something I have learned a ton of in the past 2 years or has it been the past 21 years. Now that patience is really being tested. A lot of things have to fall into place. A new home, a new job, a different way to live my life. I don't want to go back to anything, I want to move forward but now more than ever although there is an urgency in moving on, I realize that like with everything else I really started to face this year, it's one step at a time. For now I am putting this song aside until I, myself find the right words to have you understand that although a lot of my hopes and dreams for the future are crumbling and falling apart,... I am not. |
So I am gonna be patient in this season of change and when I come out on the other side of this situation, I am gonna finish this song.
I hope AGAIN 'N AGAIN can be a testimony of a moment in my life where I came to an understanding that no matter what happens, I can trust myself in trusting Him. Because I will fail, we all will. That's why we are here. I want to trust that fact. I wanna keep trying... okay I already wrote that as a prayer in "When you come to all" but let THIS song be a testimony of my own circumstance. I hurt myself in hoping that someone I loved wouldn't hurt me and I learned that doing the best that I can, holds no guarantee. I am very much just as capable of hurting someone I love. I can reveal that for myself, lessons like standing up for myself, making decisive choices, and protecting my boundaries with love for myself first can only aid in damage controle. In me not hurting others so much and for me not having to hurt for too long. Cause pain is a sign, it's there to help you understand that it's time for change - something along those lines... See you on the other side of this situation... |