'cause I'm not okay
Written June 24th, 2020
You know, I try to stay positive
but to be honest this weekend I got lost! I think I have been lost for some time now...
Every day has been a struggle and I don't really know where I fit in or where I belong. All I have is what I love and the tiny dreams.
I don't want to portray myself as someone who knows where she is going and knows how to handle all the challenges
of just making it trough the day.
It is just one step at a time.
I am #neverthesame
I do have this vision. A vision of what tomorrow could be like (sometimes it's almost impossible to hold on to. Other days it's larger than life).
But I am looking everywhere for the believe that I have any right to any of it... I am looking for reasons to smile. After this weekend I am ok with the little mess I am right now. I have to be ok with not having everything figured out right now.
It is ok to be lost.
To be overwhelmed
To not know where to begin
To be scared of...
It's ok to try and fail
Its ok to fail at trying
It's ok to fail at failing
"It's ok to not be ok"
is more than a statement!
It really is ok because I AM not ok & I am confident at that, because I AM here..
Otherwise I just have no space and the space I had has already become so tiny in the past few months...
I just hope we can all find a space within ourselves where we can allow ourselves to be imperfectly human
instead of only working to uphold the image of what the world/others expect us to be.
All the best,